So today is the first day without our sweet dear Magsters.....we are both so heartbroken. She was our life.....every day and every minute was scheduled around her....
But I know she is out of pain....her last few weeks were especially hard and her last day was excruciating for her and us. We had taken her to the vet 2 days earlier because her eye was leaking a lot of fluid. Turned out she had an eye ulcer and the vet said she was glad we had her on 2 pain meds for all her other ailments because it would certainly help with the severe eye pain she must be feeling. We treated her eye for 2 days until she was in so much pain she was drooling uncontrollably, so we called the number of the at home euthanasia for pets they had given us. It was actually another vet in the same practice that does the home visits for this. She couldn't come till 6:30 pm so we just loaded her up on pain meds....she slept most of the day in puddles of her own drool, but would wake up every now and then and want something to eat. So for this her last day on earth, we fed her lots of freshly grilled chicken breast, treats that she loves, some of whatever we were eating including her very first taste of chocolate brownie....she loved it. She spent most of the day sleeping and when awake would pace between me and DH for extra loving. She knew...we all knew the time had come.
The home euthanasia was very peaceful, even though we cried a lot all day and up to her final injection - to see her in no more pain and the panting stop when the pain left her, was such a comfort and the vet and her technician (our vet's front desk lady is is wonderfully sweet) were so very compassionate and caring towards us all.
Our first day with Maggie...
And as she got older....
peeking through the plants
Our sweet Maggie was a birthday gift to me from my DH and kids 15 years ago.
We drove about 3 hours or so to pick her up and bring her home. I had chosen a different puppy first and then I went back because something told me that this sweet little puppy who was the runt of her litter, was the one for me. Boy, was I right....she was the most perfectly sweet and smart dog ever. Show her something once and she could always remember it.
Mags trying to sleep at 10 weeks old
She was our life for the past few years, since the kids moved out and it was always just me, DH and Mags. Our hearts are broken and so empty, I sure with time, it will get better, but for right now, I don't know if they will ever heal.
In our Garland home, she spent all her time in our kitchen, it was her home.
Her Last Few Years....
The last 2 years have been difficult as she has almost died several times and we have prepared for it many times. We put her first in everything we did, no traveling together because we won't leave her with anyone or board her. (Both of the last times we boarded her before this decision she had horrible things happen - first at the very high dollar exclusive boarding place where she threw out her knee and they knew nothing of it or how it could have happened even though she had been there for 5 or 6 days. Then the 2nd time we decided to leave her with our vet for safe keeping, and she came down with severe pancreatitis while we were on a trip to see relatives in CA. Our vet sent her home with us because she didn't want to put her in a emergency hospital hooked up to IV's to die there. She said "take her home, and let her die in the comfort of her home....here are some meds that should help a little." I nursed her and cried over her for days and then after about 3 days, she stood up and looked 1/2 way normal. I called the vet and she said bring her right in....they did tests and the vet said no dog she'd ever know had come back from that severe of a case of pancreatitis. That was our sweet Maggie. She was a fighter and always wanted to please you in everything she did.
Then about 6 month ago, she blew out her other knee and couldn't walk. Our vet gave us lots of pain meds and said she would get a little better and should get used to walking in her new condition. She got around but it was difficult, needed help getting up sometimes....other times would get excited and dance around and fall down. We put rugs everywhere on our tile and laminate floors so she would have lots of traction and many choices of where to take a nap.
Here are some of my fav memories of Mags:
1) When she was a puppy she always wanted to be in the bathroom with you while you showered. She would lay down and wait for you to come out, then I'd put lotion on my legs and she would lick and lick and lick my legs....such a silly dog.
2) When she was healthy and it was time for a bath, you could tell her it was bath time and then you couldn't find her......it's because she would be sitting in the tub waiting for you to come give her a bath. She loved her baths and couldn't wait to jump in the tub and wait for you.
3) She hated being dirty....I'm so glad we were able to give her a last bath a few days before she passed because she loved being clean. (Below is a picture of our shower remodel that was almost complete, minus the glass, where we gave her the final bath/shower.....she just walked in and walked out. It had gotten to be such a chore to bathe her in the tub because we had to lift her in and she hated being lifted up - would flail around and end up hurting herself and she couldn't stand for too long in the bath and would often collapse when her arthritis and blown out knees gave out. So it was really cool that the very first one to use our new shower was our sweet Mags just a few days before she passed.
4) She loved playing ball when she was young....she would play for hours and be so exhausted but never quit. You would have to stop playing with her and let her rest - she would go all day if you let her.
5) She loved going for walks. For the past 2 years, she couldn't go and it was so sad. She used to dance around when she'd see us getting our tennis shoes on and just wait in anticipation to see if we went to get the leash or our keys, to know if it was walk time or if we were just leaving in the car.
6) She loved her buddies, her soft friends (toys). She would never tear them up, just lick them, kiss them, retrieve them and squeak them. After she'd blown out both knees, she would still get one and stand in one place just squeaking it over and over. She loved doing that even though she couldn't really play with them anymore. She had a huge basket full of her buddies, Halloween buddies, Christmas buddies, animals and creatures of all kinds. You could tell her to "go get your buddy" and she'd pick out one from the basket that was her favorite that week and bring it to you, only after she had squeaked it many times first.
7) She loved her backyard, she would play and sniff and then sit in a place where she could see everything - as if she was queen of the backyard. It was her yard.....she loved being there.
Look at that face.....she was so expressive and loving....
And as she got older.....and more mellow
Here's where she was able to just walk in for her shower....she was the first to use our new shower!
And here she is on her last day, resting with her pain meds.
I took several pictures of her that day but this is the only one I can bear to look at as the others are too upsetting right now.
Rest in peace my sweet Maggie.....till we meet again.
PS. I have let my family and closest friends know and posted her passing on Instagram and in a few FB groups of crafting buddies I'm in, but I can't bring myself to post it on my FB page for every one of my and my DH friends to see. DH is a very private person and this has been extremely hard.
Today, I decided to write a tribute to her on my blog.
I think it will help as I work through all the emotions associated with losing our best friend.